Real Conversation I - Talking about Self esteem,Plus size modelling Opportunities in India & My Global Dove Project #ShowUs

Real Conversation I - Talking about Self-esteem, Plus size modeling Opportunities in India & My Global Dove Project #ShowUs

One of those perfectly gloomy days I really don't know if I should be blaming the monsoon but the melancholy has surrounded me over 15 /20 days now...heck as I write it down I feel even more. Is it to do with the fact that I am home for my summer vacations(Yes I'm one of those people pursuing a job that allows me summer vacation-For those of you who do not know I'm a lecturer -an adjunct one for Pearl and NIFT Mumbai).
Do you see what I did there? I tried to make myself better by spelling out my profession through and through, Sometimes I feel it's become a complete extension of my demeanor & possibly the only thing that makes me happy about my existence.

I have been severely anxious lately. Writing this blog after September 2018 when I last shot with Rohed and I was talking about relationships! If you missed it I am linking it here.

One of the reasons why I stopped writing was also because I felt I wasn't writing stuff that would be
-is there a takeaway for you guys?
-I kept wondering who is actually reading it?
-in my headspace, I was creating content but in all honesty, it was just all the work that I was being offered and I kept posting that and made myself feel very occupied.

Despite the hiatus, I feel I need to get back? Why, you may ask. Some major life changes happened for me over the early start this year. I had been shooting with DOVE past November and that in my head was absolutely beautiful and also something that was saving me from creating my content. I also want to spell out today what exactly was I doing with them.

Part 1: Shot in India by photographer Prarthana Singh - Yup I was lucky to be photographed by her.
Most of you ask how I ended up getting the project honestly it just happened for me. From what I can recount -Dove, Girlgaze, and Getty Images were looking for different stories of women throughout the world for a better representation of women in media that would form a library and can be used commercially by anyone once they paid for it through Getty and had a wide array of women not just by their skin colors, looks, professional and sexuality-wise.
I beg for you to agree that the Media is a big exposure not only to younger girls but also women our age and our mothers who subconsciously are exposed to the unwarranted standard of what an Indian traditional beauty must look like-taut fair skin, Petite by all standard and long dark hair! You see our self-esteem is developed due to how we view other people reacting to us. I give my due credit to Supriya(supaarwoman on IG,must check her work out) who gave my number to Prarthna and then I was selected by the international team with my photographer consent, once they had shortlisted me and heard my story ofcourse.

It was shot in November-the idea was to cover a day in my life. We started early at 6 am -from the morning walk with my dad to my workspace to how I stepped out for a blogger event. Nothing was positioned and it all happened in the natural setting. Of course, I did change my outfits 5 times that day. This project has been released under the hashtag of #ShowUs and you ladies can still contribute to the Getty library. We had to abide certain rules-there could be only retouched of light but no skin, no photoshop to make me look bigger or smaller and absolutely no filters! Currently, 70% of women report that they don’t feel represented in media and advertising. You can’t be what you can’t see, so I have set out to change that by partnering with @girlgaze @dove and @gettyimages on Project #ShowUs. Alongside 116 female-identifying and non-binary photographers across the world, we have photographed 179 diverse, beautiful and complex womxn who we believe represent the change we want to see in the beauty industry. Our rallying cry is join Project #ShowUs.Sharing some of the images below:

                   

Cut to Jan I'm on my way to London and had the most amazing 3 days with the crew right from amazing production people-Gaby you have my heart! To the entire costume team headed by George, that sourced such an amazing variety -I mean sorry to the teams I have worked with in India you had nothing on them-I was given options! It was absolutely liberating-I yes 'I' got to choose what I could possibly wear and to me that feeling was surreal! I also happen to meet Simmone there who was another fellow Indian lady that was selected for the campaign. 

The campaign was supported by the likes of Shonda Rhimes and has currently won Silver at Lions film festival. Come April the campaign was released and I was lauded by Kayaan Contractor and Oh boy oh what was that feeling? Sharing the link to the video and images of my trip below. The trip has been the greatest gift to not just me but been a bigger part of this community that we keep harping about. It shall really bring about the change I believe in.

Also building upon my earlier statements as to why I had stopped blogging/why wasn't I writing anymore?

I have always been pitched and would like to think of my self as a body-positive blogger but all I had started doing was collaborating-yes it's a mean of income but I want to do something for myself, as a hobby and outlet to vent my feelings. This blog is a virtual diary and I am in no competition to any of my plus bloggers/influencers or models. I'm sorry but I had really not like to be a part of rat race anymore-I don't go on and fetch for brand collaborations myself. If it comes my way I'm happy to talk about it but I'm deliberately not going to ask someone. No, I haven't started to feel way ahead of myself or have any arrogance it's just that I don't want to care about my curation so much. I shall still stick to the aesthetics but I have never cared about the numbers and never will. This picnic I truly did it for myself. I got all my favorite things made a picnic basket and enjoyed my time. I worked with Shivani and Siddhi and that gave me so much confidence in front of the camera and behind, I really enjoyed myself and wasn't pressured to do certain things in a certain way. And this is what I created with them.

On a side note, I also understand what has been making me feel better

-puppy and baby videos, to be fair I always loved them but maybe it's the biological clock kicking in

-I'm open to the idea of getting arranged married yup just warming up (I need to still weigh this one down)

-I love watching Cornel(the choreographer's) Bachata video-I find it immensely calming so weird

-also been addicted to bombil fry which is definitely not a preference in a Bengali-Punjabi household (only because it's a seawater fish-yes we have that kind of discrimination and I was snooty about it too) and I think I need to thank Sanky for introducing me for this one.

-I have become more appreciative about my parent's.Both their health's are declining at a pace I am honestly learning to cope up and it's hard to be alone doing this.

And trust me if you can love me you can love yourself-I heard this Lizzo say at a concert and this is exactly what I had like to quote to you guys. The messages that I get I'm honestly so overwhelmed by it that why would you want to be like me - and I really stand by this you have to be the best of you. Love each part of yourself than more the other-only you will put yourself up on a pedestal and let people follow! I don't want you to be anything like me-I'm sorry but yes I really don't. You can be YOU and really that is the best kind of idols you want to have. Iw ould definitely say around yourself with really positive people (even if they are not happy all the time - like me :P I know this is going to be difficult but a good brick always sticks around and I'm counting on you.

This picture sums my musings for today.More in the next post, hoping to write more often and for those l'il birdies that come and read here. A big Thank You!